BROCABULARY

BROCABULARY (n.) A revolutionary lexicon
for bonding with your bros, whether you’re
composing a work of obliterature on your
liePhone, having a guyalogue at the game, or
barticulating during a forgoneversation

Beyond simply defining the “stripping point” (the precise number of Jaeger shots that make a woman want to get naked with you), Brocabulary provides a firm grasp of bromenclature for the next time you become Abraham Drinkin’ and make an Inebriation Proclamation (“Four whores and seven beers ago…”). You’ll learn how to calculate your “cock stock” (the value of your penis to chicks) and you’ll start seeing your previously pathetic existence as full of pussibilities. So stop brocrastinating (hanging with your bros to avoid your duties as a man) and put yourself in the testosterzone—it’s time to become everyone’s guydol by leaving your mark on guy-speak for the generations to come.

This crucial addition to your guybrary will be published in October, and can be pre-ordered here for one third the cost of a subscription to Big Sausage Pizza.